1.Make an amazing(ly bad) short film about zombies . . . or maybe superheroes . . . or just three idiot friends. It has to be deep and meaningful and (most importantly) has to have a scene where I kiss a girl on the mouth.

2.Write the world s best university application ever! (Or at least one that doesn t make me seem like a nob).

3.Don t get expelled trying to complete 1 & 2.

It can t possibly fail . . . right?